From My Body To My Mind
To My Mind,
I am your body.
The inside of my mouth is blistering. My lips are cracking. My throat is coated with an acrid and acidic bile. My head is spinning and pounding in a senseless disorientating rhythm. My legs feel as if they won’t hold me up anymore, forcing me to slump against walls, to wait for the weakness to pass. My teeth feel as if they are dissolving, my eyes are painfully watering. Looking in the mirror reveals a blurred image of girl who is slowly eroding, mind and soul.
I know you’re thinking that you can’t go on. I know what you consider every night, mulling over the poisonous thoughts, probing and prodding them like an old wound that won’t heal.
Stop this. Stop the thoughts and the irrational fears and the anger and the hopeless warring. Please give up. Let go, be brave, and get help. Let yourself be taken care of so I can be healthy again. Don’t put me through this anymore. I want out.
Pleading,
Your body
Love. Love. Love. Love. Did I tell you that I love this?
I think this is beautiful. I love the ‘pleading’ at the end. It gives it real meaning for me for some reason. Well done. xx
Thank you so much.
Hi Jo,
I said I’d be in touch after my holiday.. I really hate that you had a shitty day yesterday. I hope today was better.
I’d love to meet up! We can discuss how the NHS is so lousy at getting off the mark and think about what the other options are..hang out and get to know us beyond our bulimia?
Email me if you want collyrose@googlemail.com